Friends and Fallout
by Chocolate and Drama
Summary: Friends can often be hazardous to your health. Especially karate-trained, kick-butt, part-abnormal friends. And even more so friends that know exactly where you keep your taser, and your skittles. And what do we call these lethal compadres? Best friends!
1. Phone Call

" Ashley! We have ten minutes!"

" Hang on Mom, lemme grab my bag!"

Ashley hummed a random tune as she slipped on her shoes and grabbed her purse. She was about to walk out the door to join her Mom when her phone rang. She threw back her head and groaned. The ring tone was a duck! She really had to keep her phone away from Alena. She weighed her options. Should she ignore it and risk something that could potentially be bad? Or pick it up and risk something trivial? It turned the message machine and she heard the wailing of Alena. Again, either bad or trivial.

' Ashley please pick up your phone! It's hor- hor-_ horrible_!' She dissolved into sobbing.

Ashley threw back her head and groaned.

" Ashley, are you coming?"

" Just a sec!"

She flipped the phone open and answered the call.

" What's the matter?"

" They're so cruel! They are so uncaring! They weren't paying any attention all these years! I think they don't ca- _care about me_!"

" What is going on Alena?"

Her mom frowned as she stepped out in the hallway where Henry was waiting with a tie and a smirk. " Alena- Alena! Calm down!"

" You know what I said about your cell phone Ashley?"

" Not on family outings, I know! But Alena is sobbing her head off and she won't tell me why!"

The British woman frowned and motioned for her phone. Ashley nodded and handed it over.

" Alena- Alena. Calm down. Calm down. What's the matter?" Her mother spoke slowly as she tried to calm her down. The brunette rolled her eyes and passed it back to Ashley. Something trivial! Dear god, one of these days Alena will actually have a problem and she will ignore her.

" What's the matter Alena?"

" They- they were cleaning, and- they threw away my _slingshot_!" Alena again started wailing.

" Listen- listen- Alena, I have to go. You will have my full attention when I get back. Unless I fall into a sugar coma, which is totally not my fault, and totally not because of a bag of candy I may or may not have stashed in my room."

Oh crap. her mom always had to listen when she said something incriminating. Oh well.

" You had better call me back Ashley Cordelia Magnus, or so help me I will come to your house and duct tape you to a chair and force you to listen to my problems! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!"

" Of course you do. It's not like you were over yesterday, and three days before that, and the Tuesday and Monday before that, and we've been friends for fifteen years now and this is, help me out Henry."

" Three hundredth, nine thousandth and fifty second."

" Thank you. The really long number he said of times he's threatened me. You know I only feel remotely scared when you type in all caps!"

" Fine. But You will call me back!"

" Yes Alena, you have my word."

" I'd rather have your taser, or better yet your skittles."

" You have a taser?"

" Mom! How can you hear what she's saying! Damnit. Bye Alena."

The blond flipped off her phone with a huff. Henry snickered. Ashley kicked him.

A/N I wrote it rather randomly, and decided to post it so it wouldn't rot in my files forever. I plan on turning this into a thing of drabbles on Ashley and her friends misadventures, if you guys are up for it. Review if you like it, review if you don't, but most importantly review if you are wearing a green shirt! Actually, you can review whatever the color of your shirt is! I don't know! It's late and I'm getting psyched for Chuck, which is on in like five minutes! WOO CHUCK! CHUCK FANS GO WOOHOO! The 'I know where you live' is a thing my friend once did. It was crazy.

CHUCK ME TIME IN THREE! LATER!

Dedicated to Fell4, an Alena fan. :)


	2. Red Lobster!

Katie!

-Katie!

-I know you're there!  
- ANSWER!  
- Don't call me Katie.  
- Katie! How y'be!  
- You and I both know were I am.  
- On a date :)  
- On a mission  
- And I quote ' attempt to lower his defenses enough to gather any intel possible' a.k.a DATE!! Where'd he take you? Somewhere decent, I hope!  
- Wow, you actually pay attention to your Mom! And quit it with the 'date' stuff. Not a chance Ashley.  
- Not a chance. I'm so proud! This is you first date in what....... forever? WAIT! Why won't you tell me were you are?  
- You're cruel. And if I told you, you would come and spy on me.  
-I swear I won't come to the restaurant to spy on you.  
- Promise?  
- I swear on the amicae exitium a.k.a the MONKEYS OF DOOM!  
- Okay. Red Lobster  
- Oh that's good! Wait, are you hiding out in the bathroom to answer this?  
- Nope. He heard my phone beeping and let me go answer it. He's quite a gentleman.  
- Why do all the good men have to be taken, dead, gay or evil?  
- Katie?

-KATE!

- Kate Freelander, you did not just abandon my texts to go schmooze a Cabal Operative!  
- She did.  
- I wonder if they're going to kiss...... Hey! I know!

" HENRY! I need you to hack into the surveillance feed for Red Lobster! Thank god for loopholes."


	3. TDZCS

" Ashley, do you have any more zombie repellant?"

" I think I might have a few more bottles, why?"

" I may have brought something back from the dead."

" ............ What happened Alena?"

" Well, we had chicken last night-"

" How can you bring it back if you ate it?"

" The skeleton was left."

" So you have a skeleton of chicken walking around?"

" Maybe."

" Then why do you need zombie repellant? You know what we need to do! "

" Teach it to tap dance?"

" Amen! I'l be right over!"

" Mom! Look at this!"

* spotlight * Tap tap. Tap. Tap. Tap a tippy tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

" Wow, you guys made a robot dancing chicken skeleton! That's a pretty nice example of animatronics."

" Robot?"

" Animatronics?"

" No mom, remember how we had chicken last night?"

Thump.

" That looked like it hurt."


	4. It's never safer in the car! Part One

- Charlie one checking in.

- Sporks momma checkin' in

- Kate, checking in

- Kate! You've got to say your name!

- No.

- Yes!

-NO!

-YES!

- We got Starbucks Kate. Me and Alena-

- HEY!

- Sporks Momma and I got Starbucks. We'll share if you say your name

- Yes, we did get you chai latte with three splenda and chocolate powder.

- Venti?

- You know it!

- Fine. Lollipop queen checking in.

- Now that wasn't so hard now, was it?

- I hate you.

- I know!

- Hey! Why's Alena with you? We're suppose to be on a mission!

- Weeeeeell, she was the one with the Starbucks gift card. And the slingshot. And she smacked me really hard.

- Heee hee!

- Wuss! Fine. But if she gets hurt it's not my fault.

- Since when have you ever been blamed for my wrongdoings?

- Well there was that-

- I didn't mean literally! And you owe me.

- Don't start. Momma's girl.

- Ha ha! Oooo, Lollipop queen and Sporks mama we have movement!

- I know there's movement, I'm sitting right next to you!

- Shut up Alena!Okay, fish van behind creepy black car with creepy black windows and general creepiness should be heading your way Katie in ten.... three... now!

- Why can't you just say three two one like normal people?! Are you sure its cabal or just someone creepy?

- Well, it's not like I recognize some of them, they were using a fish van as a cover just like squid said, oh yeah, and that dragon they had couldn't mean they were cabal!! Geese woman don't you trust me? You know what, don't answer that.

- Fine, fine, I'm going I'm going. That picture on the back of the truck looks nothing like a fish!

- FOCUS Katie!

- It's hard to with the prospect of chai!

- It's calling to you Kate. It's calling your name.... come and drink me Katie... come and drink me before Alena does....

- Not helping Alena

- HANDS OFF MY CHAI!!!! Okay.... sending cordinates to Magnus...... the others should be joining us soon...

- So... what are we doing Ashley?

- We're tailing them to the docks, were we're going to intercept the dragon before they can load them on a boat.

- What do I get to do?!

- Stay in the car.

- But it's never safer in the car!

- Chuck!

- Yeah!

- I'm not staying in the car, right?

- Of course not! but be careful so my Mum doesn't see you. - Got it.

- You gotta be sneaky Alena!

- You gotta be SNEEEEAKKY!

- Shut up you two.

- You can't make us.

- Yeah Katie, we have your chai!

- Yeah, we have your CHAI

- No! Please... do whatever you want to me but don't hurt the chai!

- And....... Will on a motorcycle and your Mom and Henry in the car have started tailing the Cabal... oh, they still haven't realised we're tailing them!

- Will-on-motorcycle??? Bwa ha ha ha!

- He's on YOUR motorcycle.

- WHAT! I SWEAR I SHALL KILL THE PANSY!

- Ha ha.

- I hate you.

- Okay... arriving at the docks in five.....

- Are you ready Alena?

- I am ready!

A/N Part one of two! Stay tuned readers!


	5. Fire at William! Part two, but still TBC

-Ashley, Kate, check in.

- Sup.

- Right here doc.

- Package confirmed?

-Aw, Henry's using fancy pants lingo! I'm- I'm so proud!

- Shut up Ashley.

-Make me.

- Be quiet you two! Shoot on my signal.

- Got it.

- Can I shoot at Will?

- Yes, I suppose.....

- Hooray!

- No Ashley, the other Will!

- Why would you want to shoot me?!

- To see you hop about in pain and agony before realising it was a blank shot and I'd never shoot you.

- Aw, thanks! I think!

- I wouldn't because then I'd get in trouble.

- Ashley!

- Just joking, just kidding. Maybe.

" You suck Will."

- Ashley!

- For once, I swear that wasn't me!

- Then who was it?

-Oh yeah.

"Alena shut up!"

" Oh. Sorry!"

- Alena?!

- I told her to stay in the car.

" No you didn't!"

" Alena! If you ever want to another ride to Starbucks, shut your wordhole!"

- Wordhole?

- I can't curse with little kiddies listening.

- Who would be the little kiddies?

- Well, _William_

- Ashley, one more word out of you and I swear I will-

- Aw, Mom, but you know it's not nice to swear. Besides, they're unloading the dragon.

- Damnit . Alright, move into formation. When they sign the deal, execute the plan.

- Right.

-Got it.

" Don't stop believin... hold on to that feeling...."

-Ashley!

- Wasn't me I- "Alena! Turn that down!"

- You two are going to get us killed.

- If I haven't done it yet I won't now! Hee hee!

" Put the radio down missy."

Crap. Maybe she would get them killed.

A/N Yes, just a short filler thing, but I've been really busy since I've switched from home school to public school, and my first day was Tuesday. It's actually pretty cool, and I've had some fantastic people volunteer to help me find my way. Everybody is so nice and welcoming to me, if I had a dollar for every time I heard " New girl! " Are you new?" " Welcome!" Hi!" " How are you liking school so far?" " Hi new girl!" I'd be able to buy Sanctuary and make Druitt come back, muahahaha! Anyway, it's awesome, which is totally abnormal for middle school! Wait... I was digressing I think! Anyway, what I meant to say like ten sentences ago,was because the switch and the ever-bothering family probs, I've been too busy to write. Once everything gets under control, I promise I'll try to write more!


End file.
